Writing an obituary can be one of the most emotionally challenging yet profoundly meaningful tasks a person may face. Whether you’re a family member, close friend, or professional writer asked to write about someone who has recently passed away, creating a lasting tribute through words is both an honor and a responsibility.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary, often referred to as an obit, is a written announcement of a person’s death. It typically includes biographical details, achievements, and information about surviving family members. Obituaries are commonly published in newspapers, online memorials, or funeral programs and serve both as public notices and personal remembrances.
While obituaries are sometimes mistaken for eulogies or death notices, each serves a unique purpose. A death notice provides brief factual information, such as the date of death and funeral arrangements. A eulogy is a speech delivered at a memorial service. Writing an obituary combines these elements into a concise yet comprehensive article that informs and honors.
The Purpose Behind Writing an Obituary
The act of writing an obituary serves several key functions:
Informing the public: It lets friends, acquaintances, and distant family members know about the passing.
Celebrating a life: It provides an overview of the individual’s accomplishments, relationships, and legacy.
Offering closure: For many, reading an obituary is part of the grieving process.
Preserving history: Obituaries often become part of genealogical records or family archives.
Before You Begin: Gather Key Information
Before writing an obituary, gather all relevant details about the deceased. This typically includes:
Full name (including maiden name or nicknames)
Date and place of birth
Date and place of death
Surviving family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, etc.)
Predeceased family members
Education and career history
Military service, if applicable
Major life accomplishments
Community involvement or affiliations
Hobbies, passions, and personal anecdotes
Funeral or memorial service information
Having this information on hand will make the process smoother and help ensure accuracy.
Structure of a Traditional Obituary
Although there is room for personalization, most obituaries follow a similar format:
1. Announcement of Death
This includes the full name of the deceased, age, and the date and place of death. Some also include the cause of death, though this is optional.
Example:
Johnathan Michael Thompson, age 74, passed away peacefully at home in Portland, Oregon, on March 22, 2025, after a courageous battle with cancer.
2. Biographical Information
This section highlights the individual’s life story — their upbringing, education, work history, and significant milestones.
Example:
Born on July 10, 1950, in Austin, Texas, John graduated from the University of Texas with a degree in Civil Engineering. He worked for over 35 years in infrastructure planning and was a respected voice in the field.
3. Personal Legacy
This is where the human side of the story shines through. Include hobbies, volunteer work, faith, and unique character traits.
Example:
John was a dedicated volunteer at the local animal shelter and an avid gardener known for his award-winning roses. His kindness, humor, and warm smile touched everyone he met.
4. Family Details
List surviving and predeceased family members. Include names of spouses, children, grandchildren, and even pets, depending on the style.
Example:
He is survived by his wife of 48 years, Margaret; his children, Michael and Anna; and three grandchildren, Sophie, Lucas, and Emma.
5. Funeral or Memorial Information
Provide the time, date, and location of services, along with any special requests such as charitable donations in lieu of flowers.
Example:
A celebration of John’s life will be held on Saturday, March 29, 2025, at 11:00 a.m. at First Presbyterian Church in Portland. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Oregon Humane Society.
Tips for Writing an Obituary That Resonates
1. Be Honest and Respectful
Avoid exaggeration, but be generous with your praise. Capture the essence of the person’s character in a sincere way.
2. Use a Personal Tone
While obituaries are often formal, a warm, personal tone can create a stronger emotional connection.
3. Avoid Clichés
Instead of saying someone “never met a stranger,” describe how they made everyone feel welcome.
4. Proofread Carefully
Check names, dates, and spelling. If possible, ask another family member or friend to review the draft.
5. Customize for the Medium
If you’re submitting to a newspaper, follow their specific formatting rules and word count limits. Online memorial platforms often allow for longer entries and multimedia additions like photos or video tributes.
Writing an Obituary: Online vs. Print
In today’s digital age, writing an obituary doesn’t always mean submitting it to a local newspaper. Online memorials have become increasingly popular, offering broader reach and lasting digital footprints. Here’s how the two compare:
| Feature | Print Obituary | Online Obituary |
|---|---|---|
| Length Limitations | Often restricted | More flexibility |
| Cost | Charged per word | Often free or minimal |
| Multimedia | Text only | Photos, videos, music |
| Interaction | No reader feedback | Guests can leave comments or tributes |
| Longevity | Limited (unless saved) | Permanent (archived online) |
If you’re writing an obituary for both formats, tailor the content accordingly while keeping the tone and message consistent.
Cultural and Religious Considerations
When writing an obituary, it’s important to consider the cultural and religious background of the deceased and their family. Some traditions may require or prohibit certain details, such as how the death occurred or how the funeral will be conducted. Always consult with the immediate family to ensure these sensitivities are respected.
Writing an Obituary for Yourself (Advance Planning)
Some people choose to write their own obituary in advance — a growing trend known as pre-writing. This approach allows individuals to ensure accuracy, express their own voice, and even alleviate some emotional burden from family members. It’s also a way to reflect on life and what one hopes to be remembered for.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Forgetting key family members: Double-check the list to ensure no one is unintentionally left out.
Overloading with dates and facts: Focus on storytelling as well as chronology.
Being too vague: Specific examples bring the person to life.
Ignoring final wishes: Include cremation, burial, or organ donation preferences if relevant and approved by the family.
The Emotional Side of Writing an Obituary
It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed during the process of writing an obituary, especially if you’re grieving. Take breaks, ask for help, and don’t rush the writing. If needed, consider professional obituary writing services that can work alongside families to craft a thoughtful tribute.
FAQs About Writing an Obituary
1. What is the difference between a death notice and an obituary?
A death notice provides only essential facts like name, date of death, and funeral arrangements. Writing an obituary involves sharing the person’s life story, values, and legacy in more detail.
2. How long should an obituary be?
Most newspaper obituaries are between 100 and 300 words due to space constraints, while online obituaries can be several hundred to over a thousand words, depending on the platform.
3. Should the cause of death be included?
It’s optional. Some families choose to share it for transparency or to raise awareness about certain illnesses. Others prefer privacy.
4. Can you write an obituary for a pet?
Yes. Many families choose to honor beloved pets with heartfelt obituaries, especially when the animal was considered a full family member.
5. Is it okay to add humor when writing an obituary?
Absolutely — if it reflects the personality of the deceased and is tasteful. A touch of humor can make the tribute feel more personal and genuine.
Conclusion
Writing an obituary is more than just an announcement — it’s a celebration of life, a snapshot of a person’s journey, and a meaningful farewell. Whether shared in a newspaper, posted online, or read aloud at a memorial, the words you choose will carry great emotional weight.
Take your time, speak from the heart, and remember that writing an obituary is one of the most compassionate and impactful ways to honor a loved one’s legacy.